informative final draft outline

I don’t know how to handle this English question and need guidance.

SUBJET: reducing of car use advantages and disadvantages

i sent you two examples of the final draft one is from the book and the other is from my classmate i chose reducing of car use advantages and disadvantaged for my subject i will send you my thesis statement and the instructor comment of the thesis statement.

Thesis statement: I am pretty sure that all of us have heard about reducing car use to keep the environment clean , I am pretty sure that most of the people have there opinion in this topic. So today I’m going to talk about the advantages and disadvantages in reducing car use.

Instructor comment : Try to articulate this more concisely and read the textbook chapter on introductions. This is more of an intro rather than a thesis. Thesis statements should state the purpose and your main points. It seems your main point is about the advantages and disadvantages in reducing car use, so this should be the main sentence of your thesis.